I've been procrastinating. My kid was chosen to be on a calendar put out by the MACC Fund for fundraising purposes. It's called The Cute Kids calendar. We did the photo shoot. All that's left is for me to write the little blurb that tells you about my child so that she'll seem real to you and you'll want to donate your money to help kids like her.
I write about her all of the time. I write texts, emails, group posts, Facebook posts. But those are all little pieces of a very large picture with many possibilities.
I can't help but see this little calendar blurb as a cell or a gavel or a pronouncement. When I read the blurbs of the kids in last year's calendar, I see a disease with a couple of human asides. I see distillation. I have to narrow this giant panoramic view I like to take of this situation we've been handed into something much more unbearable. Something small and unyielding and impossibly heavy.
Like so many things that come along when you're a cancer mom, this is really such a small task, but it feels like such a weight.
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